Natalia Rahlia: THE HUNT

Those are my feet, wrapped in things I like to call shoes, which I purchased today. They already look about 20 years old, mind you.

Today, Sunday, me and the family went out to hunt for bargains on back-to-school clothing. After eating the breakfast of champions - by that, I mean pizza, cake, coffee, and fruit punch - we donned our safari hats, painted our faces with hunting paint, and grabbed our rifles and bullets.

We was gonna kill us a steal. If that makes any sense, please have your head examined.

The family of KILLERS arrived at the hunting grounds at I dunno what time. With coupons in hand, we scoured the shoe shelves for the most affordable/comfortable shoes we could find. AND FIND THEM WE DID. Eventually we moved to follow the herd. Oh, those bargains didn't know what hit them. Like a tornado, a hurricane, a monsoon, a regular ol' rainstorm, or some other weird natural phenomenon like obesity, WE ARRIVED. We left in the same manner, meaning we left in a whirlwind of price tags and colors.

I bought a pair of pants that are the exact violent shade of lime green that I'm sure JK Rowling would absolutely love, if only for their odd description and the many possible ways she could use it to describe something wizardly. And another pair of jeans are the exact shade of brightest blue that the Dumbledore family eyes have come to be recognized by.

Or were. I think only Aberforth the Goat Fondler is left now.

Goat fondling besides, I left with pants that don't really fit lengthwise and must thusly be tailored. POO-POO PLATTER. I hate being short.

I also ate more food, as I usually do. Without it, I'd be grumpy and annoying and whiny and absolutely wretched. Without it, I'd be your worst nightmare.

That's a sign on the window of Taqueria Ixtlan. It's my favorite taco place in the desert, mostly because I haven't gone to any others in YEARS. I'm a loyal customer, dog. Loyalty like mine can't be bought. Actually, maybe it could. Over dinner, we discussed the things we'd do for a million dollars. Apparently, my family would do practically ANYTHING for money. We're whores.