HP and the Half-Way-To-The-Viewing Muggle

Harry Potter's as big as giants these days. He's as big as a bloated Hagrid. He's exactly as big as The Daily Prophet made him out to be in the book. Seriously, I was sitting at my laptop in class, swaying slightly from lack of sleep when the two chicks next to me (WHO ARE SO FLIPPIN' LOUD) started talking about their Potter-scapades from the previous night.

No joke, these girls probably went out and drank bottles and bottles of butterbeer, inhaled dragon dung, and Apparated drunkenly and mighty hightily to their local theatre to watch the likes of Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and Alan Rickman (as well as the other actors whose names I forget) gallivant gaily about pretending to be MAH CURRENT FAVORITE CHARACTERS. God. If I could've, I'd have burned Things Fall Apart and continued gladly with my super-review of Half Blood Prince.

Alas, I'm stuck reading about Okon (as I've come to call him) and all the crazy shit he does. Watch Okonkwo beat his wife! Watch him fret over yams! Watch him kill his own son!

I'd rather watch Ron "snog" Lavendar for 13 consecutive chapters. Seriously.

ANYWAY. These chicks got me excited. EXCITED. Like a dude watching a porno. Or me at Disneyland. GWARASDFAHLJ. They were all "LUCKY POTION! FELIX FELICIS!" and I was all, "DO WANT. GIVE NOW PLZ."

I'm waiting till Saturday with the eagerness of a Cuban deserter catching his first glimpse of American shore. That's pretty damn eager, in case you know nothing about Cuban deserters.

:DDDDD